Don’t Be Such A Cry Baby, Papa

It’s no secret that Mothers’ Day outshines any other day celebrations so far; not International Water Day, International Day of the Child, St. Valentine’s Day and the so many other days set aside to celebrate significant issues, moments and people comes close. I never really thought anything about this state of affairs, believing it was quite understandable that in the business of parenting, mothers were more likely to receive recognition from their children and society generally in my parts. Perhaps that’s the bias of the woman and mother that I am.

But some men have taken the matter rather personally. I overheard a discussion on radio by some males about the big bang Fathers’ Day celebrations they intend setting off yearly to “match” Mothers’ Day celebrations. They plan to make sure the day is given as much and more visibility and prominence as that accorded the day of mothers. The conversation reflected the displeasure of the men about the relatively low key celebration of Fathers’ Day as compared to that of Mothers’ Day.

During the “call in” segment of the radio program as has become customary on our media landscape, many males called in. In fact only males called in; all of them quite peeved about what they perceived to be “bad treatment” meted out to them by the faceless one and undoubtedly with the unspoken connivance of mothers.

One caller in his angst suggested “after all the men can celebrate their day better because the money that goes into mother’s day celebrations comes from men”. Another suggested, “Women can’t even have children if we men don’t go to them”. Sheesh, I can’t even bring myself to be upset with this.

Okay, here goes.

Kiddo: Dear Daddy, Papa, Poppy, Da, you know you are the best thing that ever happened to me. You took care of all (?) my needs. I am so grateful and I love you, oh so terribly much. I could never show you how much......There! Feel better? What’s up with this turf war anyway, hm?

Dads are awesome. Mine was, well much of the time! I guess the only trouble is there just aren’t as many awesome dads as there are moms; for now anyway. I can only urge fathers to close the gap where it exists.

The Thing That Gnaws At Me

Could I be right, 

This thing I am thinking?

Could this be all; 

This life I have seen?

Could there be more;  

This yearning of mine?

If only the noise would go away,

Then I should hear it.

If only it wasn’t so dark,

Then I would see it.

If only I might find it,

Surely, then I would embrace it?

Flagship Banking

The other day I turned up an hour earlier than I should have at one of the Accra branches of the bank that “serves you better”. Apparently business started at 8.30am. I needed a bank draft from that particular branch, an institution that has trust issues relating to its officials and receipts in general had declared so I waited.

In the period I waited, not less than 15 people came by to use the bank's ATM right outside the entrance to the banking hall. It was obvious none of the 15 had any ATM joy because each retrieved their ATM cards from the machine and re-slotted at least twice, shook their heads, turned to walk away, stopped to look again at the machine then huffed away or joined the waiting ranks. In the meantime the numbers of people waiting to access banking services increased steadily; huddling in little groups of twos and threes under the few trees on the compound or on the stairs to the banking hall. Serves us right for getting here too early I thought.

At about 8.15am when I looked through the glass doors leading to the banking hall, I saw what pleased me very much. The bank officials were briskly moving around the hall; they seemed to be setting up the place for business. Just about then and as if on cue, the waiting masses suddenly surged towards the doors, stepping over each other to find standing space. I did not bother; frankly I couldn’t see myself in my crispy little black dress, smashed into all that sweat and flesh first thing on a Monday morning at the door of a bank as if to take advantage of one of those drop-down sales windows of “opportunity”. There were some 30 people pressing to the glass doors and still others trying to make their way to the front of the pack!

My expectation that the doors were about to swing open were quickly dashed anyway. Just 5 minutes to the advertised opening of the bank, a man was seen pacing up and down the room holding what looked like a heavy bible; he was obviously chanting something and all the bank staff were clapping, raising their arms and mouthing some things I could not hear, and swinging from side to side with eyes shut. At 8.40am the group could be seen and heard with a little straining of the ears, animatedly singing and clapping. A praise and worship meeting was in session!

So sometime later (movie style), after the rush entry by the masses, I entered the hot, sardine packed banking hall. I knew I wasn’t going to make it through the “normal” channels; the scene was too daunting even to describe. Many different queues each winding back and forth and ending somewhere outside the hall; sweating officials reaching out to take forms from whichever customer was able to shove theirs into their hands; people speaking all at the same time at officers at their desks .... not possible. Thankfully here was a cheery little security man who gave the bewildered stranger (me) a hand for only a fiver.

Awesome Service

Shame on me for thinking good service didn’t exist in my environs. Now check this, I went to get myself electricity units at the sales point. I gave the money and card to the sales girl. She slot my card in the machine, then looked up and said to me; “why don’t you wait and buy the units tomorrow”. Say what? 

I am buying credit and she was refusing to sell? Her reason was that I was about to purchase electricity credits twice in the same month which meant I would receive 100 units less than my usual take for the same amount of money. I mean, last time I bought electricity units was June 2 and here I was meaning to buy some more on June 29 simply because I knew in a matter of days I would run out of credit. Rather than thank me for my patronage and probably urge me to buy more with a rebate, the “system” was about to sell me 170units of electricity instead of about 271 units at the same cost! That’s stealing, plain and simple. 

“That’s how the system works”, she said, “I hope you have enough units for the day. Just come back tomorrow by 2pm”. And she gave me back my money and card. Well, well, well, I couldn’t believe she was being so nice. I don’t know what moved her to this commendable act but I am certainly not complaining and I am not going to spoil the experience with the reminder that the “system” is ... no, I won’t. Thankfully I had enough credit to run on so a day’s wait was nothing compared to losing 100 units of electricity. In fact I still have not bought any yet.

Is that awesome service or what?

Sneak Peak of The Obama Industry

Available in all leading retail shops in GH

serenely located only 10 minutes drive from Kotoka Airport

towards GH central. hopefully looks nothing like you see

speaks for itself

OBAMA SELLS!

Honouring the Honourables

Finally, the MC appeared but only to say that some matters "beyond our control" had emerged. He craved the indulgence of the hall full of not less than a 1000 for a little more time before beginning the program. The event was already 40minutes behind schedule and the various “sponsors”, not the paying audience were filling in the time with all manner of messages.
 

Another 20 minutes and the MC returned to announce the beginning of the program, but first we needed to acknowledge the presence of some “important personalities among us”. It was a tall list of “notable” public officers from the past and present, known actors and musicians otherwise called celebrities and a number of media bloated figures. Names were called out, credentials laid out and everyone else asked to acknowledge the “important personalities” with a “round of applause”. 

For doing what, I cannot tell; perhaps for paying the entrance fee to a public event and being present to enjoy the program just like me. Not surprising my name was not mentioned.

Anyway, after parading the “dignitaries”, the MC was kind enough to thank everyone for their patience and inform us that the reason for the wait was over, the guest star of the show had arrived.

 

Elsewhere:

The host walks in and out of the meeting room, sweat beads on his forehead. Something must be amiss; but what? I look around and I see that most people that matter (as far I am concerned) are present; the organizers and host, the audience, the high table has only one empty chair. What more do we need?

Thankfully, some 30minutes after the meeting was to have started the Chairman clears his throat and sets the ball rolling. He introduces those on the high table, walks us through the program and invites the first speaker to the podium for his presentation.

It’s 10minutes into the speaker’s presentation and he is making some very interesting point when the host comes in to whisper in the Chair’s ears. The Chair clears his throat again and interrupts the speaker. 

“Ladies and gentlemen”, he says, “the guest of honour has just arrived. Can we welcome him with a round of applause?”

The ensuing includes first, getting the “guest of honour” to his seat which involves re-arranging seats at the high table and shepherding the new arrival through handshakes and exchanges of pleasantries with the “smiling and eager to greet the big man” present. Second is bringing the just arrived and late personality up to speed with proceedings so far- r-r-r-r-r- rewind.

The speaker; is waiting to return to his presentation and the rest of the audience ... well, they wait too or go blazes.

Today The Drums Beat!

Electricity was quite unstable today and the church’s generator was experiencing challenges. The organist was  unable to provide the usual keyboard lead. It turns out that was a good thing for all of us. Choristers quickly reached for the good old African drums and other very interesting instruments and got into their element. In what seemed to be a natural response, the choirmaster started off with a local song and the whole church erupted into continuous joyous praise which Father had difficulty interrupting.  

As if to herald what was to come later, I saw two huge drums in a church this morning on my way to church. My mind quickly went back to the days when I attended church with my grandmother. Drumbeats could be heard long before we got to the church; tum...tum..tum and I never could wait to get there. Christ’s Little Band and the Singing band always had about 45 minutes of praise worship accompanied with drums and other local instruments as people streamed in and got settled. There were hardly any organs or electronic keyboards those days. The old shuffled their feet and swayed their bodies backwards, to the front and sideways. The youthful and stronger bodied clapped, wriggled their waists, waved their hands and moved their bodies through all manner of contortions.

I couldn’t wait for collection time which was also another opportunity for the singing band to treat us to many more songs to which the church would respond gladly with dancing. I learnt loads of songs in the local dialect during these praise worship sessions and sang out as loud as I possibly could. It was the best part of church.

Today the songs, drums, dancing, all played out in church. The students were doing their church version of Azonto and everyone was taking their time to get back to their seats. I am told it's called Christozonto. The women waved their cover cloths. Even the usually stiff gentlemen clapped and sung. There was jumping, sliding, hopping, twisting and turning.

We sang;

“me si me dan wo botan so, na me ne yesu be tena” – “ I will build my house on a mountain top and I will live there with God...” 

And “da yehowa ne nemaa no be twa epo no, ewurusi beba Isreal, O Isreal eni be gye”, that is “the day God will cross the sea with his children, Israel will rejoice and be glad”

Also, “gye yen akyedi ma enso weni, gye o gye, ma enso weni”; translated, “receive our gifts and may it be pleasing to you”. 

And “abonsam shoot wa shoot no bi, o kick wa kick no bi, abonsam sro yesu din”, which is "when the devil kicks you kick hom back, when he shoots at you, do same!"

To be fair, the church has in recent years done a lot to bring the service closer to the people.  Many of our prayers have been turned into song and hymns have been substited  with local gospel songs. Even some traditionally Latin prayers and songs have found their local Twi, Ga and Ewe substitutes. Instead of a dreary “Amen” at the end of a prayer, we sing “amen, amen it shall be so” or amen, amen blessings and glory, wisdom thanksgiving and honour, power and might be unto our God forever and ever amen”

When we get into things in our native colours, it’s more meaningful, colourful and enjoyable. What can I say? I thoroughly enjoyed myself at church today.