Just Griping

I am guilty of loafing about on Facebook at the expense of my employer sometimes. At such times all I want to do is find out what I may have missed, what’s going on out there that needs knowing. Like perhaps who said something silly on radio; since I don’t do much listening myself or who died; since obituaries are fast gaining space on Facebook (I hope newspaper publishers and TV stations are taking note given the experience of email takeovers of much of the earnings of the likes of Ghana Post) and then I acknowledge messages and maybe write something silly or totally irrelevant myself; like this post.

  

The LIKE button comes in handy at such times. You know what I mean, “interesting but can’t stop to say anything” so.... “LIKE” or just plain “don’t know what to say” so ....”LIKE” and sometimes, “there’s really nothing to this but here’s a chance to holla at you” so..... “LIKE”. Indeed many other times all the reaction needed towards something is either an acknowledgement or an indication that one associates or does not associate with it.

The Poke buttons, well, I go easy on those ones simply because I experience a slight guilt trip anytime I imagine the pain I could be inflicting on people I call my friends. However, they make a pretty useful “what’s up?” or “hola there” sort of thing. Facebook language is something I am still getting used to. LMAO for example; what on earth is that? It took me a while to understand Lol and I am still not sure whether it means “Laugh out Loud” as someone told me or “Lots of Love” as another told me or both at will. I guess I will have to return to the subject of facebook-speak some other day.

Back to the LIKE button which is the subject of my grumbling; clearly I very much appreciate its presence. It’s just that I want, need more.  
To begin with, the LIKE button could represent different reactions for me as already observed. But it’s ambiguity does not disturb me – actually that works for me. It’s the fact that it has no alternative. While “share” and “comment” are relatively neutral by way of being non-committal or providing the platform for one to take a particular stance, “LIKE” is not. LIKE positively and undeniably demands a “positive” stance.  

Why my distress? I am an obstinate straight forward, no sudden turns, as is where is sort of person. In practice that means when I say “No” I positively mean negative. When I say “Yes” it means affirmative. When it’s a canoe, it most definitely won’t turn into a ship. It follows then that when I “Like” something, it pleases me and when I “Dislike” something, it displeases me.

So obviously I have a challenge on my Facebook “passing-throughs”. There is no dislike button on Facebook that I know. When I positively dislike something I have to do the next best thing which is remain silent. Perhaps a universal sensitivity to general human sensibility suggests that remaining silent may be a sensible thing to do, but I feel different. I prefer to let it be known when I positively do not like something; otherwise how else would it be known?

For example, a few days after I accepted his “friendship”, a childhood friend published a sexist poster and tagged me to it; I shunted him immediately (“de-friend” in facebook speak). Silence was not enough for my dislike of the material that time. Okay that may have been a bit on the extreme, but that’s exactly what I mean. There was no quick dislike button to put the message across! 

I posted a story some while ago on the brutal treatment of women in some parts of our world. I “liked” the story (i.e. appreciated the report) even though I found its message disgusting and the plight of the women unjust. Sharing that story on Facebook was my way of spreading the unjust situation that confronted many women and also hopefully marshalling condemnation of the situation. However I agonized a bit as I shared the story because the only way people would associate with the very same feelings I had about it was to “LIKE” it.

This Facebook experience with the “LIKE” button is just an illustration of our general tendencies towards feedback. Oftentimes feedback is labelled as positive or negative. Positive when it is pleasant, negative when it is unpleasant. And since “negative” feedback is also labelled “criticism”, we would rather not; and now I am deprived of a Dislike button. 

I think that feedback of “negative” sentiment is as important as feedback of a positive feeling. For eg, when I dress up and ask for an opinion, I want to hear that I look fabulous, sexy or dreadful if that’s what the true sentiment is. Not “oh you are okay”. What’s that? “Okay”. By the way I have determined from the general usage of “okay” that it means, “Not good enough” so next time you are tempted to say something is “okay”, please just say. “it’s not good enough”. Someone will get the chance to improve something.

As far as I am concerned feedback is always positive even when the content is not pleasant or the manner in which it is dished out is problematic because it is supposed to be the reflection of the true nature of one’s view on any particular matter.  That feedback then should be clear and unambiguous to be useful to whomever is receiving it.

So now where is that “sucks” button?