Crash Them Meeting Busters!

There’s nothing anyone could say that would change how I feel about meetings or group discussions. Mostly time wasters, particularly those with agenda and a fair idea what those gathered are expected to achieve. It’s almost as if the knowledge of what is to be achieved sets off a jinx with a bag full of meeting busters. The crafty little devil descends clandestinely on otherwise well meaning and respected members of the group, turning them into a mix of near arrogant; hard-nosed; thick-skinned; totally uncreative idlers and some scatter-brains, leaving a few who could possibly make a difference but don’t stand much of a chance.

If this is not the case then perhaps it must be something to do with enduring features in group dynamics where the coming together of people instinctively sets the stage for a battle of wits (very little of which is usually present), setting up and keeping up appearances and the natural progression of the combined forces of these two into face-saving ploys.  

This assessment may be somewhat harsh however there’s a strong reason for it. I get restless, bored, I get headaches, I get cranky, and already taking in and letting out deep breaths to calm myself, 30minutes into a meeting when the agenda is still being cleared and the imminence of an unproductive or difficult session is evident.

Take the Drifter for instance. Just when something has received a lengthy explanation and been put to rest, he/she innocently and almost humbly requests to be enlightened about the same thing, some 2 agenda items down the line.  He/she has been dozing or daydreaming so he/she latches on to the word that was last heard or just been heard when getting into or coming out of “wanderland”. Someone quickly assumes the responsibility to clarify the matter and a few other willing contributors follow, leaving the current discussion hanging. 

Then floats in the character who has neither new ideas nor significant contribution to make and yet feels an overwhelming necessity to say something, anything. He/she starts off like this; “I agree with what (someone) said” or “I was about to say exactly what (someone) just said” and one would think it would be left at that but no! He/she proceeds to “repeat” what was said in three times as much time as what is being repeated. Mostly it’s a distortion of what has been said which naturally introduces disagreements to which a cacophony of voices suddenly erupt to address. The ensuing 30 minutes is spent getting everyone to appreciate the fine details of the different positions while even more interpretations are joined to the original and “repeated” submission. Surely, if what was said is what was said, why the debate? Better still what was the point repeating what has been said and in three times as much time if not simply to cause mischief or while away time?

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The quiet, reflective nonentity may attempt to intervene at this point with a summary of the essence of key points from all the confused and round about conversations. Could I heave a sigh of relief as this would provide a respectable return to making progress? Not on my life, it would be another hour before this is acknowledged.

Know it All who thinks whatever is said is never good enough unless it comes from him/ her even if it’s a repetition of what has already been said in their own often more complicated and confusing words enters the fray.  Everyone listens because this submission is delivered in an authoritative and mildly confrontational manner which is best not interrupted. It leaves a short silence at the end, as others struggle to find a response. The silence often translates; “is this not what has been said by many others already?

The Impressionist who seems to understand what others say better than those having their say, comes in to enlighten the group by seeking to explain to all present what he/she believes everyone else was “trying” to say. “Err you see, what (someone) is saying is that ... “. Off course this always backfires because those whose words are being explained together with all others turn on the impressionist who is actually only offloading his/her own fragmented opinion on the matters at hand.

The Redeemer then picks up on a statement from Know it All’s submission which we thought we’d managed to set aside or takes off on a tangent not remotely connected to the agenda.  Either way the conversation takes yet another turn.  

It’s obvious by this time that nothing on the agenda has been or would be dealt with in any systematic or meaningful manner. It’s been two hours or more and even the enthusiastic are a little burned out and hungry. Meeting must adjourn for another day. 

ooh I am so not looking forward to my next meeting but since meetings are a part of my life, I shall be back with my answer to these busters!